Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Do I have the patience for this?

Not to beat a dead horse, but this whole thing is a process. When the chips fell in April I immediately decided to leave no stone unturned and to make use of the resources available to support myself and my family. When I was in treatment, that was pretty much as I could muster, and I did so with a sunny disposition with two exceptions. On those times, I threw tantrums. Once, because I wanted the tumor to be smaller after all the zapping, and the second time when my parents visited me in the hospital. I was behind a wall of lead. I was throwing up nothing, I was not allowed to move, or to use my natural bodily functions. I was trapped and I hated it. I made sure everyone knew it and felt as helpless as I did. Of course, in hindsight who knows what they were thinking? My nurses explained to my parents that I was angry. That made sense to me too. The super nice nurse brought me a chillingly cold cup of iced cranberry juice and I drank that and felt so grateful and quenched. She understood what I was feeling, even though I was unable to put a name on it. Well, Louisville is fortunate to have a Gilda's Club. It is like walking into a house full of just nicely decorated living rooms. There are no dogs, no dog hair, piles of clutter and so forth that I feel obligated to deal with in my own life. An oasis! But, that does not mean I won't be working on my stuff. My husband and I are attending a dinner and discussion soon.
As far as working on that anger,lost training time,etc,etc,etc and rehabbing everything, I popped Providence in the DVD player and followed along with Anthony. I used the 12 kg except when I used the 8kg. I kicked butt!! I guess the sulking need to cease. No snatches for time with 12kg yet- I want to be sure my shoulders where know where home is.
Wow, it's still Wednesday? My second post of the day!

2 comments:

Boris said...

It's ALL process Kate. I hope you are doing well.

Katie, KettlebellKate said...

Hi Boris, thanks for visiting my blog. Indeed it is.